Confessions of a Central Vac Salesman
I just have to get this off my chest and you guys are the lucky recipients! I have a major confession to make:
Two weeks ago I slicked back my hair, applied sun glasses, put on a baseball cap and wore shabby clothes and made a mad dash to Costco. It wasn’t going to be a normal Costco run where I always run into someone I know. Usually an additional half hour must be planned due to Costco being such a “meeting place” in our town. Not this time! I went at 11:15 in the morning, their least busiest time on a weekday.
So my mission was to purchase a portable vacuum. I already know what you are saying…. “why didn’t this guy buy one of his dealers… the real salesmen pounding the pavement….. what a traitor!” No, I couldn’t do it. I had to anonymously bag the goods and get out of there as fast as possible. The 8 minutes and 14 seconds from leaving my car to returning and starting the engine seemed endless!
Never before in my life had I purchased a portable vacuum and I wasn’t about to let anyone see me betraying my central vacuum heritage! This was beneath me! So there I was standing in the Costco aisle looking for a cheap, high amperage piece of junk to test a new invention of mine. This was a sad day that I never thought would come upon me. There was Dyson alluring me.. Sorry but I wanted inexpensive, not just cheap! So I made a selection at about $100 and left as quickly as possible.
With the goods in my cart, I found the most obscure route back to the check-out counter. What would my friends say if they caught me? What if one of my central vacuum dealers caught me in this compromising position? My heart raced as the clerk rung up the sale!
So I got the product back to the shop and sure enough, my invention worked. As soon as I get the clearance from our patent attorneys, I’ll let you in on a great new idea that is sure to help all my faithful independent vacuum dealers.
Will it all be worth the humility of having to purchase a portable vacuum? Time will only tell!